I love with the utmost passion Judge Lynn Toler from Divorce Court! I truly believe that she keeps it real (which I love) and gives sensible and practical advice. When I came across this video; https://youtu.be/MNCMdZ13UmU; I thought ‘Thank you Jesus’ (in my southern accent)! Every woman who is wanting that ring needs to hear this! God knows I needed to hear this when I was single it would have squashed any idealistic Mills and Boon marital ideology I ever had! The truth of the matter is whatever you dislike about your partner does not miraculously vanish once you get the ring or after you walk down the aisle!
I honestly believe that God shows you signs as to why the person you’re dating should/should not be your future spouse. Both men and women put their best feet forward during the courting stage. For example a woman will cook her man a meal fit for the king just to impress him whilst a man will shower his woman with gifts and holidays to impress his lady. Therefore, if a man’s best is having a ‘side-chick’ or him being incapable of holding down a job then consider these as signs that maybe he is just not yet ready for marriage as these traits will not automatically go away when he gives you a ring.
I find these days that women are more keen on getting that ring and planning a big lavish bellanaija wedding than they are about preparing for their marriage. Yes, the wedding day is important because it is the day you make a solemn promise to your partner and God in front of your family and friends, but once it’s over then you and your spouse are left to your own devices and then life begins! Boy does life begin!
Marriage is a daily compromise between two strangers who love one another (the key word being strangers)! I thought I knew my husband (we met when we were sixteen years old) but in reality I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. Once we started living together I saw a different side to him and he saw a different side to me, sometimes a side I/he loved but most often sides we both probably could do without!
I tell my friends to ALWAYS pray for their relationships. This is because I find that many females are prayer warriors when they want the ring then once they get the ring they think their job is done when in actual fact the work has just begun. Dating brings it’s own challenges, same as when you’re engaged that brings more challenges and so forth and so forth.
Issues will surely arise when you are engaged/ married but don’t lose faith in your spouse but most importantly don’t lose faith in God.
Be Happy, Be Bright, Be You!
Love Mabs xx